Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow; no tomorrow, no tomorrow

Despite being so fragile, so transient... the years and months composing ten billion years ...are, to the point of sorrow, endearing

Inverted, Juxtaposition, & Binds

Denial is a defense mechanism postulated by Sigmund Freud, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence. The subject may deny the reality of the unpleasant fact altogether. Dissociation is a mental process that severs a connection to a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity. Nabuca also displays an extreme level of dissociation, Wiki describes depersonalization disorder as a dissociative disorder. The symptoms include a sense of automation, going through the motions of life but not experiencing it, a detachment from one's environment, allowing the mind to distance itself from experiences that are too much for the psyche to process.. Denial and dissociation describe Nabuca's personality, exactly.

Nabuca & Tabur

Nabuca and Tabur grew up in the same village. No doubt they played together as children, as most of the villages Hamdo attacked were small and secluded.

They were both taken away, and both afraid. The fear shapes Nabuca into a soldier willing to follow orders on the premise that once the war is over he can return home. In that aspect, he has tunnel vision; he is not thinking of what he is doing, his only goal is going back home. Tabur, on the other hand, his fear morphs into sadism. He was a scared child who probably saw his family or people he knew die before he was roughly taken away, as such, want he wants is power. And he sees Heliwood's iron fist on the rest of the world the way to achieve power, by being a part of power.

Nabuca believing he had a home to return to had to have been a false hope. After they have withdrawn from a village they just raided, he happens to look back and sees great plumes of smoke rising on the horizon, right in the area the village had been in. Believing that he could go home if he did what he was told, enabled Nabuca to act coldly and do thing he knew was wrong. After interactions with Shuu, he has to face the fact that what he is doing is wrong, but he refuses to let anything or anyone stand in the way of him obeying orders so that he will be able to go home. Nabuca is seen reflecting holding the stick Shuu used to fight with instead of a gun. He is then confronted by Tabur.

Tabur knows from the beginning that there is no home to return to. He wants Nabuca to join him on his quest to become powerful and help make Heliwood powerful, but Nabuca refuses. Tabur tells him they have no home to return to, not even ashes. When Nabuca refuses to believe him or side with him, Tabur delivers a shot to the side that would prove to be fatal...

Nabuca & Shuu

Using what little strength he has left, Nabuca gets to the cell Shuu is in. He grabs Shuu, balling the material of Shuu's shirt in his fist. He returns Shuu's stick, and with all the strength he can muster to put behind his voice, he pulls Shuu as close to him as he can, and demands Shuu go home, back to where ever he came from. To go home, was the only thing that Nabuca wanted. All the sins he committed and all the blood stained on his hands. Not because he was cruel, but because he was a kid who just wanted to go home. Instead he dies. I don't think Nabuca's death was just for the sake knocking off another characer, but more so an act of mercy- it would have broken Nabuca to have fought so long and to return home, only to find nothing.

Nabuca is straight-forward and no-nonsense. The opposite of Shuu. There are many times that, after witnessing acts of violence, Shuu calls Nabuca and all the others insane. Shuu's refusal to lapse on his morals and ethics speak to the side of Nabuca that he desperately wanted to repress. Nabuca knows it wrong, but he doesn't want it to be wrong. Nabuca is in Heliwood, what he wants is to live and go home, so being a good soldier is the only thing to get him from point A to point B. Nabuca was harsh with Shuu at first, but I don't think he ever disliked Shuu. From the start he warns Shuu not to run away, as he knows death will come to deserters. When he is being tortured by Hamdo, Nabuca looks at him with look mixed with pity, disgust, and regret. When Shuu releases the children taken to be soldiers, Nabuca shoots him in the leg to stop him, not to be cruel to Shuu, but to save his life from the sergeants who would've done a lot worse.

Nabuca & Boo

Nabuca is closest to Boo, who seems to be the youngest. He takes Boo under his wing, he protects Boo, giving him duties like guarding or looking out in an attempt to see to it that Boo is not directly involved in killing. After meeting Shuu, Boo begins to openly dissent and admits his shame, no longer wanting to do all the things he knew was wrong. But Nabuca wants Boo to live, so he insist he boy keep following orders. Boo listens to Nabuca and seems to look up to him.

When they are invading Zali Barth, Boo is begging Nabuca to stop, as Nabuca has his gun aimed and ready to shoot Shuu and the orphans is they don't do as he says. Boo has had enough at this point, he throws down his gun and yells at Nabuca, No! I've had enough! tears begin to roll down his cheeks. Nabuca looks at Boo in surprise, he was getting the idea that Boo was reaching his limit, but Boo has never not listened to him before, and now Boo stands beside him absolutely refusing to obey anymore orders. As Boo has his head turned from Nabuca he catches a glimpse of movement- he sees Suun and the gun she has aimed at Nabuca (she had heard Nabuca confess to killing her father) and moves to push Nabuca away. Boo is shot, dying instantly. Reflexively, Nabuca turns and fires back, killing Suun- he has just killed a little girl. Wide eyed and in shock, he turns his eyes to look down at poor little body of Boo, lying in a pool of blood. In a ragged voice, he whispers Boo's name. Boo's death serves as the catalyst and wake up call for Nabuca that, whether he wants to go home or not, he as to change.

And Shuu starings out at the body at Suun then to Nabuca, narrows his eyes and savagely screams Nabuca's name. The rawness of Shuu's voice sends shivers down your spine. Shuu has told Nabuca over and over he has to stop,and now Nabuca not only killed Suun's father, but Suun as well, and it's more than Shuu can handle at the moment. It seems like a wedge would be permanently thrust between the two, but when Nabuca came to his cell and died, Shuu clutched his body and weeps.

Nabuca

Nabuca has to be the most tragic character. Yes it was Nabuca who killed a little girl. Yes it was Nabuca who shot a man in the head at point blank range. Yes it was Nabuca who helped round up the children, seeing the same fear reflected in their eyes as was in his when he was taken away, to be carted away form Heliwood. Yes it was Nabuca who took Sara off to a soldiers room, he had to know what would happen to here. Despite all this, Nabuca isn't a cruel, heartless person. Hate the sin, not the sinner. What he wanted was so simple. Horrible circumstances were forced upon him, and he had to do what needed to be done in order to survive, and go home as he was promised. But Hamdo intended to use the soldier up until they died, and his home had already been burnt to the ground not long after he was stolen away. It's just tragic. Second only to Boo's death, Nabuca's death was hard to watch.